How much is it?

So I’ve been thinking a lot about what it really means to know Jesus recently, and how that reflects in our lives. As I’ve studied, prayed, reflected, and listened I seem unable to get away from the area of sacrifice.

To me, it seems impossible to know Jesus without that involving some kind of sacrifice in our lives. Throughout the Bible, God calls people away from comfortable living, often without any information about where He will take them. Abraham did this, leaving his home and his country without information about where God would take him. The disciples did this, leaving their livelihoods simply to follow Jesus. They knew nothing of where that calling would take them, but they were willing to sacrifice it in order to know God.

I know people who have sacrificed a lot in order to follow Jesus, and I find their stories an inspiration and a great challenge at the same time. Most of the really powerful testimonies I hear seem to involve periods of hardship or difficulty, and often God has moved significantly through His people trusting Him during those times. As I look at this, I wonder how much sacrifice is in my life right now. I’ve been a Christian for some 15 or so years now, and a lot of the sacrifices I made in terms of lifestyle choices as a teenager are no longer particularly sacrificial to me. If I was to walk away from Jesus today, I don’t think I would go around getting drunk for example. It’s not something I would enjoy and I don’t think it would be a part of my life.

So as I look at my life now, I question what I’m sacrificing right now and what that means. It’s fair to say that with Anna working for YFC we make financial sacrifices. I also think that we sacrifice time in order to build community with our lifegroup and other people in our lives. These are both important sacrifices, and we love the work involved with them so much that the time and money aren’t really seen as a cost to us. This week I’ve been stirred that there’s more to give though. It’s been one of those stirrings that feel potentially dangerous; that could really impact your life for good if taken seriously.

The two areas I’ve been really thinking about in my life are money and time. Like I’ve said above, we make sacrifices in those areas already. However, I know in my heart that I need to really bring both in line with what I say I believe about Jesus. My actions in these areas need to reflect my beliefs. As I think about money, I think about what it could be used for. I think about the disciples and whether they’d wear brand names. I think about Jesus and whether he’d drive a flash car. As I think of these things, the answer isn’t difficult. I’m pretty sure what Jesus would think. From my reading of the Bible, it seems clear to me that the early church would spend what they need to, and use the rest to feed the poor, clothe widows or do whatever is needed to reach out to the broken and hurting. I almost don’t want to think like this, because I’d like a big TV or a nicer car. However, if I’m to take the message of Jesus seriously, I can’t look away from this.

The other big area is time. Anyone who knows me and Anna will know that we’re quite busy and can end up running from place to place. This week I’ve felt convicted about the time I spend with God. Not the time I spend in ministry, or working on church stuff, the time I spend with God. As I’ve thought about it, I know I need to be spending at least 2 hours a day with him. Even as I write this, it seems like a huge number. It seems like a big call, and if someone challenged me to do it, it’s the kind of request where I’d think “yeah, but….” Ultimately, my relaxing time is spent cabbaged out in front of the TV, just switched off. I know if I am to be serious about God’s kingdom, I can’t justify spending way more time with TV than I do with Him. TV is great, and it can relax us, tell us great stories, and entertain us. I’m not bad mouthing TV at all. However, I feel that I should be a lot closer to God, and if I believe He will do great things in my life, He needs to be at the forefront of my life, not just my beliefs. Our lives are so filled with media and gadgets these days that we’ve lost the art of stillness, and it seems clear to me that God so often speaks to people in stillness. If I want intimacy with God, then I need quiet.

Who knows where 2 hours a day with God will take me? Maybe it’ll lead to a clear calling. Maybe it’ll lead to Him really breaking into the lives of people I pray for. Maybe I’ll become more like Jesus. Maybe it’ll lead to the cupboards being bare. Maybe it’ll lead to tears. Maybe it’ll lead to seeing a lifegroup growing into being great men and women of God. Maybe it’ll take me out of my job. Maybe it’ll take us out of Widnes. Who knows? All I know is one thing for certain. It’s costing us Sky Sports.

Right now, that seems like a small price to pay.

We Could Be Heroes

I spent time with my grandma yesterday. We talked about a variety of things, but one of the topics never far from the forefront was my grandad. They were married for 56 years, and she talks about him with a fondness that can only come from a life shared together. He died last year, and it's sad to see her without him, but it is great to hear the memories she has of him and to be reminded of what a great man he was.

I always liked my grandad, as did everyone on the planet. He was one of the very few people I've met that no-one had a bad word to say about. He was genuinely liked by all, and radiated such a genuine warmth that really reached out to people. He was interesting, kind, funny and selfless. At his funeral I heard that he'd gone to Bible college but that hadn't really worked out. I never knew that about him, but I know that he set about working in an 'ordinary' job, loving people and following Jesus as closely as he could.

Ever since I remember he was involved in church life, as a deacon, or preaching, or doing children's talks, or giving out Bibles, or running home groups. I think one of my favourite things that he did was to get involved with the church puppet team that went into primary schools after he retired. There he was, a 70 year old man, presenting the gospel in front of kids while being given banter by some puppets for being bald. It shouldn't really work or make sense, but it did.

On reflection, he probably respresents being devoted to God and to His church as much as anyone I've met in my life. Just to be around him was to know a man who truly loved Jesus and was committed to serving Him in all he did. The warmth he had came from a place of really knowing God well, and letting that infect every part of his life. In recent times, I have looked over his bookshelf, of the hundreds of books he had relating to God and the pursuit of understanding Him more. That bookshelf speaks of a man whose life was dedicated, whose service to God was genuine. I've taken a number of these books, hoping that I too will be able to be a man after God's heart, much like he was.

I think in my life I always felt that one day I would work full time for a church in some way. Right now, I'm not so sure how/when/if that will ever happen. Spending time thinking about my grandad reassures me of this. He had a normal job, in a normal town. But he had a phenomenal marriage, raised a great family, and lived his life serving God in every way he could. As I think about it, the people I've been influenced greatest by in my life haven't necessarily been people in high positions of paid church work. They've often been ordinary men and women with ordinary jobs who have decided to serve Jesus with their lives. They've been people who poured out love when I didn't deserve it, people who didn't condemn, and people whose lives really tried to reflect what Jesus would do.

Maybe I'll go into working for a church one day, maybe not. For now, I'll be a man in a normal job, trying to follow Jesus the best I can, hoping that makes a difference to the lives around me. Right now, I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do.