In Matthew chapter 4, after fasting for 40 days, Jesus is taken into the desert to be tempted. He must have been weak and hungry, but at the same time in tune with the heart of God. He had spent time focusing on his Father, on His Kingdom. The body was weak, but the heart was in a real place of intimacy with God. Around this time, Jesus would have been around 30. He had spent many years building up to his ministry time, and at the verge of his moment, the testing comes.
I have noticed that my greatest temptations often come when I am stood at the verge of something which could be very significant. The times I have stumbled before big events or preaches I am to give, have I missed out? I believe so. I have allowed sin to come in and tear me apart, causing guilt, condemnation and anguish at the very time I've needed peace the most. Too often, I've accepted my position as a flawed man rather than clinging to the words of Jesus and trying to see him in the dark times.
Jesus was tested on his earthly desires, his trust in the Father, and his greed. He was offered the chance to satisfy his physical needs, he was offered the chance to be made 'great' in this earth. Jesus knew the score, he knew he would be spat on, despised and crucified. Not for one second does he try to avoid this for personal gain, knowing the greatness of God and placing the importance of His people right at the forefront. Throughout this time, Jesus' understanding of the Father and their relationship is so clear. He doesn't waver, knowing what he has is greater than what could be offered.
As I read this, I know that if we are to stand for God in the midst of temptation, we need that clarity. I once heard someone say that the reasons people fail are often lust, money or ego. I think I agree with that, those are all areas where our heads can be turned, and we buy into the lie that these things are greater than God. With hindsight we so often regret our failings and see clearly how shallow these things are. This doesn't have to always be the case, I don't believe we always have to live as beaten down, broken people. As we stay close to God, clear about the value of our relationship with Him, we become more and more able to see the truth. We need that truth rather than excuses or self-justification. We need to know right and wrong, know God's leading, and have the courage to follow what we know is true, when it's so much easier to go another way.
There is no easy solution to this. It takes time. We cannot get this without closeness with God. We will never stand in our own strength. One of the most mis-quoted verses from the Bible is “resist the devil and he will flee from you”. That's not what the Bible says. In James 4 verse 7 it says “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you”. We cannot miss the first bit out, or the whole thing falls apart. Without being submitted to God, we cannot resist the devil. As people, we find it easier to neglect that bit, thinking we can go about our own business and be good enough. We love a short cut. I've seen it in work where students are looking for a quick way through exams without putting in the graft and studying. Often we want that from our relationship with God. We want the strength, the blessings and the intimate moments without putting in the time. We want the results without the relationship, and when it comes crashing down we know we should have spent time closer to God, that we should have been sitting at his feet rather than casting a nod in his direction, hoping he's with us as we plough ahead with our own journey.
There are no short cuts. There aren't meant to be. There are no short cuts because God isn't a genie, looking to provide us with strength when we need it. We are referred to as His Bride, and the first four verses of Revelation chapter 21 tell the beautiful story of Him awaiting our arrival and longing for His people to be with Him forever.
'Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”'
You see, God isn't intended to be someone to be afraid of, or to keep happy. The Bible is a love story, a story of a God going into the darkness to rescue a broken, dirty, ruined bride and welcome her in as if she were the purest thing on Earth. As I look at my relationship more like this, it stirs something deep within my gut. It stirs a desire to know Him more, a desire to spend time in His presence. God becomes less a figure to impress (or at least not disappoint) and more the One who from the start of time declared that He wanted us to be His people, and nothing else.
When I think of God in this way, I think of Anna. I would never dream of cheating on Anna, I love her far too much to ever want anyone else, or to go anywhere else. I know the value and importance of the relationship I have, and I see it with clarity. As I start to see my relationship with God in this manner, I hope I will continue to be able to see temptation for the shallow, cheap alternative that it really is. As I think of my relationship with God like this, I realise that God is not just disappointed or frustrated with my failures, but that He is hurt that I would go off and think anything could match up to our relationship.
That's why there's no short cut. Life isn't a project. We were created for relationship, and there's no substitute for time in that relationship. As I read the Bible and reflect on God's love for His people, it makes me want to spend time with Him more, and makes me want to never lose that intimacy and closeness that comes from knowing Him.
This may not be new to a lot of you, but I feel that I'm just starting to get hold of a whole new way of what it means to love God. Maybe that's just a tiny fraction of what the early church knew, maybe it's a tiny fraction of what you all know. But for me, it's been a revelation, and is helping me know what it is to not live a life constantly feeling beaten by sin or failure.
