Like a fat kid loves cake...

 I'm not actually fat, despite what people in both Widnes and Grimsby often remind me (and cheers for that by the way). You see, when I injured my knee when I was 18, I had to turn my attention to something else I'd be good at. That certainly wasn't going to be academia, mainly due to my ability to sleep through lectures and my reliance/dependency on Red Bull. I wasn't good enough at Pro Evolution Soccer on the Playstation to make a career out of that, despite the hours of practice. That left food challenges. If we leave thoughts of gluttony at the door for now, it was one area I could really excel, so I threw myself into it. My weight is therefore a consequence of my success.

So you see, I'm not fat. I'm a champion.

Not convinced? OK, I'm fat. Fair enough.

Recently I tried to do something about this by buying an exercise bike, which is about the only exercise that my paper knee can cope with. Within 25 minutes and 7 miles I was sweating like, well, like a fat man on an exercise bike. I was blowing and sweating out of places I didn't know I had. The journey out of being fat is a long and dull one. The journey to getting there is much nicer, accompanied by chilli Doritos, burgers and kebabs. The journey out is dull, with fruit, veg, and exercise. Even writing that sounds crap. If you know any people who are obsessed with exercise and health, I guarantee they're not fun. I've sat with people telling me how many calories are in my snack, and wished I had better friends. I don't know about anyone else, but I'll always prefer to have friends who hear someone else suggest a kebab, and know that they're not strong enough to refuse, despite the fact that they're clearly made of dog.

Way too often, we associate things with God in this way. We can equate spending time with Him as exercise or fruit, that it's something good for us and that we should do, but ultimately we often don't see as fun. That's such a flawed way of thinking, and completely distorts what God wants for us. The point of spending time with God is not just that we would be stronger and better people, though we find that is likely to be an outcome.

When I spend time with Anna, I don't do it just so our marriage will be stronger and we'll be able to cope with life. I don't even do it because it makes us better people (although I often tell her that spending time with me can only have that effect on her). I do it because I love her and want to spend time with her. I do it because time spent with her is better than time spent without her (except maybe when watching man films, where her attention span only runs until 80 minutes, pretty much the key ending to the film). That is how God wants our relationships with Him to be. He doesn't just want us to come to Him out of duty, that He will be something that will make us better. He also doesn't want to come to Him like He's a genie, bringing all the stuff that we need from Him.

From the start, God just wants a connection with His people, He just wants a relationship with them. The analogy in the Bible that the church is the bride of Christ shows that He longs for that type of closeness with us. The story of Jesus is the story of a God who longs for His people to know how much He cares for them, how close He wants to be. I don't fully get why He would really want to be close to people like me, with all my faults, but I know that He's not up there waiting to smack me down if I mess up, or waiting for me to impress Him. Something within His heart longs for His people to just love Him, and by sending His son to die a painful death, He paid way more than I paid for Anna (although that marquee wasn't cheap), and He did it because He loves us.

I don't really have much else to say. I know this is nothing new to most of you in churches, but just by realising this, and moving God away from something that is just something good for us, it stirs me to just spend time with Him, opening my life to Him and letting Him be the loving father to me that He so longs to be.

Anyway, I'm off for a snack.